My horoscope today (I'm a Leo):
When you're shown the secret of a happy life, it looks suspiciously like an old dying tree. Look past the appearances, and keep going for the gold (The Courier-Journal).
What the &*$% (heck)? Is my horoscope telling me that money is everything? That life is crap? That I should become an Olympian? That even old trees will one day bloom? That it's what's on the inside that counts? That youth isn't everything?
I have no idea, but the astrologers manage to be totally vague as usual.
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